Wrestling with Unbelief

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.” (Jn. 15:9)

Hello Ron,
I am currently 15 years old and when I was 13 I use to have this friend who was an atheist. He use to attack me daily saying God is just an illusion and that He is a figment of human imagination. For the longest time this didn’t bother me, I was confident in my faith. But the attacks kept coming and we battled over this for 2 years… almost daily. Eventually I felt my faith failing, I became double minded, and truly was unstable in all of my ways. I had chosen to discontinue my friendship with him, because I knew if I didn’t, he would convert me to unbelief. My problem is that even after a year being free of him, I feel as if I have no faith. Everything I hear about God, I know is true! Yet my mind is saying how fake it is, and how dumb it is to believe in this fairy tale. Everyday I am haunted with thoughts like “God is fake”, “Jesus was just a mentally ill man” and “evolution is scientific fact, why challenge it?”. I want to stop thinking these thoughts, yet they come; almost uncontrollably. It doesn’t help that I am surrounded all day by evolution theory. I know evolution is wrong, but for some reason, deep inside I wrestle to know the truths of the Bible! I believe in God, but struggle with trusting… you know? I have been fighting this fight of faith for 2 years now and am still in the same predicament. I feel so lost and alone, I wonder if I am even saved, if Jesus does come back if I will be included. I do not want to have doubt and unbelief… I feel as if there is something at work controlling my thinking. I just want God to step in and take it all away! I know the truth of God but for some reason, I find myself fighting on the inside! Can I control what I believe? I still share the Bible with friends, and seem like the world best Christian to them (if there is such a thing). I know that the Bible is true and that the Word of the Lord is awesome. I have seen people healed before my own eyes, I have felt the fire of God move through me, have experienced the Holy Spirit’s touch, and even spoken in tongues! But for some reason even with all these truths in front of my eyes, I wrestle in my mind. With all my heart I want to have unwavering belief, I want to live for the Lord, but how can I live for him if my thoughts tells me He is fake? I literally wake up with the thought “God is not real”. What do I do? I have fasted, gone through the bible, prayed, and live as pure as possible, but nothing is helping. I am double minded and do not want to be this way. I am frustrated living in this condition. Please help me, please. I do not want to lose my faith, I want help and I think I was led to this website for a reason. I have been distracted so much today that this letter wasn’t going to be written, but thank God I wrote and sent this. I want faith restored, belief restored, and to be able to live in faith. Did your doubt and unbelief completely go? Do you still deal with crippling doubt? I feel as if I am going through the exact same thing you did, and I believe that you will be able to help me.

Thank you so much…

My Reply to this brothers question…

Brother… you are not alone and if Christians would be honest, you would recognize this spirit of unbelief in the Church. It is a problem even among the most admired believers. The key is that Christ has won your battle and you must learn to enter His rest (Heb. 4:1-16). There is a place of rest for those who have had their hearts ravished by the Lord. When your heart is captured and you truly awaken your love for Jesus it will cause you to not give as much credibility to man made ideas. Reason has its limitations (Isa. 1:18-20). God has set us to know the Scriptures for our benefit in gaining “life” in our believing process (Jn. 20:30-31). These verses explain a huge reality that is often overlooked. Believing something or believing in someone you cannot see or touch, takes faith… not evidence, but reality that is not visible, not reasonable. Christians must allow their hearts to be awakened to the ways of God… and Scripture is our platform for knowledge. “By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God!” (Heb. 11:3). Just imagine all that this means for us as believers. We must have renewed minds (Rom. 12:1-3), based upon new understanding from the platform of God’s Words. His Voice will ravish your heart if you allow it and abide in love.

The Power of a Ravished Heart:

Do a study of the Song of Solomon and you will find the Shulamite Bride gets her heart overwhelmed by love for her beloved… this is a prophetic picture of Christ (the Bridegroom) and the Church (the Bride). But what happens is that the Bridegroom pulls away from the Bride to cause her to want him and seek for him in the night season. Pulling her out of her comfort zone is vital and happens only because of the memory of her beloved, his beauty and his character.

This experience is called the “dark night of the soul” where our love is tested and Christ must be sought and discovered as our most needed friend… “our lover”. He does this with every believer, to pull them out of their comfort into suffering and searching for hope, security and love. We are like the Shulamite bride (who is lovesick) and our beloved is waiting just beyond our reach. He is not hiding from us, but He is hiding for us – to find Him. In finding His love and compassion, and experiencing His beauty; makes our hearts awaken to love and we are captured by the look in His eyes (2 Cor. 4:6). When this is discovered, our hearts become His, forever. Read Song of Solomon 8:5-7 and you will see the power of love!

Be blessed my friend and know the grace that pulls us into safety from the demonic spirit of unbelief.

One Response to “Wrestling with Unbelief”

  • Robert:

    Hi.Its nice that you presented your true fight which is good.This is not only a problem with you.If you study the Bible,even the great man of God Moses who spake face to face with God had unbelief when God asked him to speak to the rock.Also the disciples who saw the works of Jesus Christ could not believe his resurrection.Also the Israelites who saw the wonders of God could not believe him and Israelites departed from him and worshipped Idols.So you are not the only person who ahs this battle ,even the great preachers of Christianity face this.Jesus Christ has provided a solution to this problem and that is we need to hear Gods word properly.Faith comes by hearing.We need to meditate the Bible often and pray.Jesus prayed for Peter when Satan tried to pluck his faith.Fighting for faith istelf means you have faith in God.we have to fight the good fight of faith.Dont lose heart or dont worry as by worrying over and over that you have unbelief is futher going to damage your faith.Pray to Jesus to increase your faith.The happenings in this world often try to pluck our faith.Holy spirit will surely help you.Cast your burden on the LOrd and he will sustain you

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